Restoration & Reconciliation

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rec·on·cil·i·a·tion – an act of reconciling or being reconciled (coming to terms with a new way of moving forward).

res·to·ra·tion – the act of restoring; renewal, revival, or reestablishment (rebuilding to what it was intended to be).

Since taking the class "Life in the Mess: Theology of Forgiveness and Reconciliation" 10+ years ago, I have been processing the difference between the terms Restoration and Reconciliation. The two are inextricably linked. They go deep within our hearts, personal relationships, and the larger context of humanity. God’s original intent when we were created to live a peaceful existence with Him and others.

Below is a visual tool from that very class offering an understanding of “the circle of reconciliation” explaining the necessary process towards authentic, life transformational steps of being 'reconciled’. Over the years, I have continued to refer to this photo when processing my own need for restoration and reconciliation or to help others who are stuck. This diagram addresses both a spiritual reconciliation process with God but also applies to our own relational aspect of the need to reconcile and experience peace with others.

Diagram created by Dr. David Guretzki for the Seminary Class: “Life in the Mess: Theology of Forgiveness and Reconciliation”

Diagram created by Dr. David Guretzki for the Seminary Class: “Life in the Mess: Theology of Forgiveness and Reconciliation”

Our Hearts Need Peace

The older I get, I have come to terms that conflict is inevitable, and how we handle conflict makes all the difference. If we don’t put in the necessary “heart and soul work” into healthy relationships with our Creator, ourselves and others - we will be robbed of the life we were intended to live.

In my own desperation for healing and restoration over the years, I have came across a ton of speakers, teachers, resources, ministries who have been used by God to shape me. One being the resource “Story Sage: Family of Origin”, I appreciate how Dr. Dan Allander speaks of the importance of learning how to handle conflict, or as he calls “Repair of Rupture” (as well as the call for “Attunement” and “Containment”).

“Repair of rupture is the experience of forgiveness … It’s a movement to repair that does not justify, dismiss, or ignore but engages with integrity, ownership, sincere apology, and repentance. Repair liberates us to return to play, free of shame, contempt, and judgment.”

What I have found is that in any aspect of life; any discord, conflict, or strife we encounter personally or corporately, directly or indirectly, beckons a heart response. Our souls crave peace. A peace that cannot be filled with human attempts or bandaid repairs, but a peace that goes deep into all our world is hungering for. I cannot explain the depth of this process in a simple blog post but pray you can track with me the importance of each step.

  • Starting from a place of peace: the reality is that we live in a fallen world and have all sinned and fallen from our original intent. Our hearts have strayed from peace with God and peace with others. Because of this, our world has a great level of forbearance (patient self-control, restraint and tolerance).

  • When we sin (not “if we sin”, as it is true that all have sinned and are in need of God’s glory and help - Romans 3:23, 1 John 1:8), there is a breach in a relationship that can lead to conflict or confrontation if left unchecked… ‘or as my professor would call it “a judgement of grace period”). This discord can go on for hours, days, months, years, etc.

  • If we are truly listening to the voice of God, the Holy Spirit will gently guide us to confess, repent and ultimately work towards genuine heartfelt forgiveness and reconciliation.

  • It takes both parties to be willing to reconcile yet we are only be responsible for our own contribution to the process. If one party is eager to reconcile and the other is not, the pace for reconciliation is out of our control. Depending on the offence or grace gifted to one another in the process, the individuals and relationship can grow stronger as a result of the process. In other circumstances, the individuals may grow stronger but the relationship may not fully recover to what it once was intended to be on this side of heaven.

  • In both pathways, there is a season of discipline or restitution which leads to personal restoration and a 'new way of moving forward’. i.e. Reconciliation or Peace. The matter of discipline or restitution to right the wrongs of a relational discord does not have a cookie-cutter solution and is unique to each situation.

If you are human, you know the difficulty of this process. But for those who have wrestled and fought for true restoration and reconciliation,
you could probably agree that peace is worth it.

Our World Needs Peace

The death of George Floyd, (May 25th in Minneapolis, MN) captured on video was a catalyst for heated debates across the land. His last words “I can’t breathe” became a tipping point for a societal uproar to systemic racism and other forms of oppression and violence. (A documentary “The Fall of Minneapolis” was released since this blog was written to give more insight into this).

I grew up in Minnesota from 1970-1990 before marrying Tim and moving to Canada.
When the protests and riots began, I felt it deeply in my soul. The riots, looting and continued violence that followed have sparked intense conversations around the globe. It is good and right to protest injustices. Peaceful protests are ideal. Riots are controversial and difficult to understand or justify. (I encourage you to watch the “Fall of Minneapolis” to get a broader perspective than what the media was pushing/ reporting.)

It just got UGLY. Evil begets evil.

Political realms were the breading ground for territorial spirits to set up camp to bring greater divisions among us.


“A riot is the language of the unheard.” and “Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love.”
- Nelson Mandela

“Do not repay evil for evil. Try to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. If possible, on your part, live at peace with everyone.”
— Romans 12:17-18

If you are reading this and you are a person of faith, you have the incredible privilege and responsibility of working with God through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit in the processes that lead to peace (shalom). Racism is alive in the hearts of many because humanity has tolerated it. I am grateful for the prompts of the Holy Spirit that convict us where we may have contributed to injustice. I believe there is one human race made up of beautifully diverse people created in the image of God. The systematic "racializing" of people has created a divided world. This was never God’s intent. In order for us to see a change in the world, it starts in our hearts and extends to our families which ultimately impacts the world.

Are we willing to do deep soul work to combat racism at its core?
Are we willing to do the proper heart work in order to impact all mountains of influence (faith, family, education, business, media, government, arts)?

It starts in our own hearts. Nothing in this world will have any lasting change unless we pursue open-heart surgeries with our Creator. Genuine confession and repentance should lead to God-honoring actions for the sake of others.

Resources

Education and awareness is key. Do you believe that all of humanity is inherently valued and worthy of respect and dignity? I pray that we be messengers of peace encouraging restoration and reconciliation in these challenging times. Here are some resources to inform, educate or minister to you addressing racism.

To the left is a clip from Dr. Tony Evans who is based out of Texas. I appreciated his message encouraging us to seek God’s “righteousness and justice”. He shares how reconciliation happens through service within families to our communities and addresses the issue of inequity in the church, holding it to a higher standard. I’m inspired by Dr. Evans to be a “repairer of the breach” (derived from Isaiah 58: 12) and challenge leaders in all areas of government to foster healing from division.

“Some of you will rebuild the deserted ruins of your cities. Then you will be known as a rebuilder of walls and a restorer of homes. ”
— Isaiah 58:12

Scripture verses that address racism and equality:

Dear Heavenly Father,

You are the One whom we can bring all things to… our hopes, dreams, fears and tears. Thank You that You are a God of justice, righteousness and everlasting peace. You are all-loving, patient, full of grace and truth. We so desperately need You in our world. Help us to be still and listen closely. Give us ears to hear and eyes to see what breaks Your heart. Your word confirms that the most important commandments are to love You with our whole being and to love our neighbour as ourselves (Luke 10:27). Our world is not doing that too well. We have failed to do what You have asked us to. Help us not to look away from the injustices of this world - but give us the strength to enter into the difficult conversations and injustices happening in our communities.
In this complex world, we know that violence is not the answer. Silence is choking us from moving into freedom, healing, justice and reconciliation. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit. Give us the ability to unite, heal and raise up voices to speak against injustice. Uproot what doesn’t honour Your name and Your vision for humanity. Jesus, help us walk in a new way, moving forward as communities and nations. Teach us what it means to be created in Your image (Genesis 1:26-27). Teach us how to unite. Help us love one another as You love us. We pray for wisdom and discernment during this time. Give us a vision of reconciliation according to Your plans for humanity - not our plans. Speak to our hearts. Search us (me), test us (me), know our (my) anxious thoughts. Reveal any offence in us (me), and lead us (me) in the way of everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).


Restore us, renew us.


Help us to be the beautifully diverse people You created. Help us rebuild Your nations as you intended them to be.

In Jesus’ name, I pray,

AMEN.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. ”
— Psalm 139: 23-24